Did you ever have one of those spells where you just didn't want to write or talk to anyone? Yeah, me too.
But then something inspires you, touches your heart and almost compels you speak out to anyone who will listen (kinda like this post). I recently attended a business and leadership conference called Get Motivated where a bunch of heavy hitting leaders of business, politics, finance, motivation and entertainment all come together for a one day festival of inspiration and motivation. This is the second time I've attended this and I was amazed once again at the lineup of speakers. In one short day, I was able to see Rudy Giuliani, Laura Bush, Howard Putnam, Krish Dhanam, Rick Belluzzo, Colin Powell, Lou Holtz, Dean Graziosi and Terry Bradshaw all speak for about 30 minutes each. It was pretty moving at times and though it was geared towards business, I learned pulled a great deal that touched me as a parent as well. I never really thought about it but you can take the exact same leadership skills you use at work and bring them home to you kids. After all, you are the CEO of your household.
Qualities like:
Responsibility
Accountability
Honesty
Integrity
Trustworthiness
Decisiveness
Compassion
Discipline
These are the cornerstones for everyone, not just business leaders. And just as we learn on the job at work, we're constantly learning how to be a better parent. We can use our experience as an adult to guide your kids. As they get older, our job changes. We start out holding their hand, and showing them the path, but then it's time to let go. Krish Dhanam, one of my favorite speakers created a nice visual for raising kids. He said we simply cannot open every door for our kids. We know things are tough but they have to know to fend for themselves out in the wild or they'll never succeed. Show them how to hunt, teach them how to defend themselves and let them grow. Open the first door for them and then let them find out how to turn on the lights.
Lou Holtz was a big surprise for me. I knew he was a brilliant coach but I never knew why. His simple talk and persistent positive messages were infectious. He gave his Three Keys for Success:
1) Do Right
2) Do the Very Best Your Capable Of
3) Show People You Care - You can love all you want but that love doesn't touch anyone until you show it to them.
He even admitted that this is as basic as it can be but it's absolutely true. In business or in your personal life, any relationship starts with three questions: Can I trust you? Are you committed to excellence? Do you care about me? If you sincerely practice his keys to success, the answer will always be YES. And will this come automatically? Nope, we have to work at everyday. Lou says that it's all in your attitude. You're not a winner or a loser. Your attitude is yours to choose. That makes you a chooser.
I'm looking forward to adding a little corporate motivation into their lives.

The other day I wrote a piece on faith. As a Christian, its our duty to spread the word of God to others in a tolerant and respectful way and I support that completely. Unfortunately, that day my piece wasn't on my faith in God, it was on a faith in yourself, each other and fostering that inner faith in our children. I feel very strongly about that because I see a lot of kids who believe a bunch of things but don't believe in themselves and their potential. This bothers me sometimes and I find myself getting a bit too passionate at times when I think about the future of my kids. Then I read a tweet from Jose Carlos  JC's Notebook and it moved me. FAITH is God’s way of saying, "Leave everything to Me. You’ve done your part. Let Me do Mine" I've heard this before but like many of the messages that we've heard before, sometimes we just need to hear at the right moment to have an impact. This was the right moment.

We all have issues and we'll always have problem's to deal with. Sometimes we need to let someone else handle them. And yes, this statement hits me just as hard as it hits some of you. "I am resilient and strong and I don't need help!" are the first words that come into my head...and I must change them. I must be willing to do the difficult thing and let God help with those things that I cannot get a handle on. He's there, I know. I just have to go and knock on his door.

You'd never tell you kids to "take care of it yourself" if you knew they really needed help, would you? God wouldn't either. We know this and that trust that we have, that warm blanket of comfort we feel when we pray and reach out to Him is the real meaning of FAITH.

_

_When you were a kid, how many times did you hear the line, "Life's not fair"? I suppose you heard it most every time you, like me, complained that things weren't fair in your opinion. I'll say it now, as a kid I didn't think things were fair all the time. Well, as a seasoned adult and parent, I am here to finally take a stand against that well-worn statement, contradict my childhood opinion and announce to the world that life, is indeed quite fair. Yes, you heard it correctly and I'm not backing down on this one. I'll even say it again (with emphasis),
Life Is Fair!

Now to pronounce something so bold, you probably want some kind of evidence, some secret proof that has been uncovered to corroborate this statement that flies in the face of everything we hold true, right? Exhibit A: You wanted something and someone else got it before you could. And let's make it even juicier. That someone didn't buy it, like you were going to, they stole it! How could that be fair? Well, what did YOU do to get it first? You could have stole it too, couldn't you? Of course you could, but you chose not to.

Let's try another. Two students decide to cheat on a test. One student never studies and cheats often. The other is a good student but had a rough time the night before caring for his sick mother instead of studying. He's not completely comfortable with cheating but needs a good grade to keep his average. Both students cheat but only one gets caught. You guessed it, the good kid gets caught and the career cheater escapes yet again. How could this be fair? Oddly enough, it really is. If you cheat, you know what the risks are, don't you?

It's not uncommon for us to compare ourselves to others - what we have, what they have; what we do, what they do. It's perfect natural...but it doesn't matter. In this game of life we all come into this world with the ability to play, that's it. We don't have the same pieces or the same amount of currency. We don't even get the assurance of a level playing field. The variables are endless...and completely fair. There is so much inequality that it's the only thing you can count on. But you're in the game and because you are, it's perfectly fair. I know at first glance that sounds like a tough pill to get your kids to swallow but once they understand that this is the way the game is played, they can forget about things being fair or not and get to playing their very best. And isn't that what they should be doing?

I hate to pull current events into this but the whole "occupy" movement is based upon an argument of things being unfair. Why? Each and everyone of the protestors has the God-given right to pack up their tents, put their drum back in the closet and go out and be as successful as they'd like to be. No one is stopping them and THAT IS FAIR!

Let's be better parents and teach our kids now, before they choose to abstain from showers for six months and parade up and down the streets whining because other people choose to dedicate their lives to making tons of money. We all have the right to CHOOSE. We also have the opportunity to look at the glass as half-full and instead of saying, "life isn't fair, get used to it", tell them, "life is perfectly fair and you have the opportunity become anything you want, make as much as you'd like and take that money to do as much good as you can. All you have to do is choose your path."

That sounds fair.

_George Michael says we gotta have it. Billy Joel is just keepin' it. And though I respect most everyone's preference of divine worship, and am rock-solid in my own personal preference as a Christian, the faith I'm referring to now focuses on the conviction that you have in the person currently wearing your underwear (and I'm assuming that's you). I'm talking about the faith that you have in yourself and the influence you have on your kids to foster the faith that they have in themselves.

It's common to think of FAITH as simply a confidence in oneself. It's much more than that. It's an unwavering conviction and the way you choose to stoke that fire within your own kids will more than likely shape the way they will feel about themselves as they grow up. But there has to be consistency. I've known parents that are very spiritual and create a solid foundation of religious faith but neglect the actual motivating spirit that's within their kids. They will grown up loving God but how will they feel about themselves?

You've heard the quote, "if you don't stand up for something you'll fall for anything"? Help them know what's worth standing up but make sure they put themselves at the top of their list. If they don't have faith in themselves, then they simply cannot have faith in anything else.

You don't need a long diatribe on this one. Be strong. Be firm and be aware of what's going inside the hearts and minds of our children. We don't get a second chance at this. When they're grown up, it'll be up to them and we all know how hard it is to change what's inside. Talk to them. Ask questions and get them thinking for themselves. Give them the gift of FAITH and conviction and love and support...even when it difficult. Believe me, I know full well how tough it can be sometimes. 

_It’s been awhile since I’ve seen Batman Begins, the first of the newer Dark Knight movies starring Christian Bale. Last night caught about 30 minutes of the modern classic. The first time I saw it, admittedly, I never really took notice of some of the more nuanced messages. In this version, Alfred, played by Michael Caine, is a much stronger character and his transition from butler to father figure is well played out. At one point he inspires wounded and dejected Bruce with a memorable quote once used by Bruce’s own father, “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” I’ll agree that it a bit cliched, but personally, I was really moved by that line. We fall so we can learn to pick ourselves us...brilliant! Has anyone called Congress or the White House and told them this? They should because it’s exactly right. Sometimes we do need to stumble. We need to know what it feels like to be down so we know what direction to head when it’s time to get up. This isn’t a support of failure or anything against a helping hand, quite the opposite. I know the power of the human spirit and what we're capable of. There are countless tales of rags to riches throughout history and even today and these are the messages that we must pass along to our kids. At some point in their lives, they’re going to get beaten down. How they react to that adversity is the true mark of their character and that is something we can (and must) help them create today. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Be the role model you've wanted to be and the inspiration for their success today.

It's not just for lions anymore...and you don't get it by just asking your local wizard for it either. As one of the core values of The Values Network, COURAGE is part of the foundation of nearly everything we're about or we take on. It take courage to have integrity. It takes courage to show honor. It takes courage to be disciplined and it certainly take courage to show your faith. COURAGE is one of the easiest things to preach upon and one of the hardest values to obtain because it comes from deep within and it appears without any kind of summoning. It just appears. Having two kids in karate, my hope as a parent, is that they will find some kind of courage when it comes to physical challenges. Both of them are very active and certainly know how to take a little fall or even a good tackle. But how to pull that courage out of them goes a lot deeper than learning how to deflect a kick to the midsection. It's going to take some tapping of their inner strength.

I'm sure we've all had a situation in our younger years much like Ralphie when he confronts the town bully and beats him into submission. This courage didn't come by simply wanting it to come, it just came out at a time when he was pushed too far. This is God's little nitro boost that puts into each one of us. That kind of courage is certainly valuable, but the courage we need to tap in both ourselves and our kids is that courage of spirit when we step up and do the right thing despite the consequences. When we come face to face with the Scut Farkuses of the world and calmly do exactly what we have to do without losing our heads. By the way, here's the clip from A Christmas Story in case it's been awhile. Keep your head and do what you have to do that's the key. And our part is to prepare them for these confrontations. Whether it's someone daring them to steal or cheat on a test or make fun of a kid in the neighborhood who is a bit "odd". The COURAGE we look for in our kids starts with us.

Be there for them, tell them that they're strong, reinforce the good in them and it will come out when they challenge is in front of them. This is not just mushy parenting talk either. Show them the courage you seek in them by showing it TO THEM. Be the example and the model for them and it they'll become the model for others.

A little inspiration for you all you business owners out there (myself included). To be a truly complete business, you have to be in business for all the right reasons. Teaching your kids about business; profit, loss and the core business philosophies is extremely valuable, but teaching them about the value of people and the value of caring for the client and the customer is essential. Ignore service and eventually there will be no customers.

The wisdom of Master Jedi Knight Yoda is indeed vast but his greatest morsel is one of powerful brevity, "Do or do not, there is no try." This is more than just a pep talk to pull your X-Wing out of the swamp (something that happens to me all the time). This is a statement of COMMITMENT and should not be taken lightly.
"Do or do not, there is no try." Yes, it's so powerful that I'll write it twice. You see, it's really quite brilliant. Do what you set out to do and commit your mind, body and resources to achieving this goal...or don't, just decide. If success is your goal, then anything less is not acceptable. Now, please note that I didn't say you will always be successful. You might and you might not, but the important thing is that you are committed to achievement. If you succeed, fantastic, that's you wanted. If you don't succeed, fine, you just found a new way NOT to get there, also a positive. The difference is that your dedication was there and you didn't cheat yourself. TRY is a weak word and implies a weak action, "an attempt". DO is an affirmative and it commands attention. Tell yourself that you're going to DO it and your mind and body will come together to achieve this. You can feel the power by just saying it. What happens if you tell yourself you'll TRY?

Do this one small thing for me, eliminate the word TRY from your vocabulary. Just erase it. And the next time someone asks you to do something you say either "Yes, I'll do it." or " No, I won't do it." See how different it makes you feel. Heck, just thinking about it gets me excited.

No doubt about it, INTEGRITY is my favorite value. Why? Because it encompasses so much. There are numerous ways to define Integrity, some very elaborate and some very very remedial but they all project the same virtuous quality. Anyone who is described as someone with Integrity, is top-notch, no question about it. Whether politician or preacher, Integrity is something we should all strive for. And why, you may ask? Today I'll use just one of the definitions; the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished. If you're living your life in the state of being whole or complete, you're doing everything in your power to be the best. You strive for a state of being nothing less than your best and only good things come from that.

A couple of weeks ago, I read of a pro football team that earned a spot into the post-season playoffs. This is typically a good thing for a team. The problem for this team was that they didn't feel like they earned it. You see they got in because someone else lost. Though their performance leading up to that point was the real reason, they received this position, their place in the playoffs that particular night was gained not by winning, but by someone else losing...and they weren't happy about it. In fact, after losing their game, there wasn't any celebration. No champagne baths, no proud displays of their playoff winning apparel. They lost the game and losers don't celebrate. They weren't complete and THAT is what playing with Integrity is all about. They're not playing to get to an outcome, they're playing to be the best and win every game. On a happy note, they did win their first playoff game and they did get to celebrate that victory but it didn't last long. There are more games ahead and plenty of time to celebrate after they win their last one.

Don't settle for anything less than your best. Of course your best may not be as good as someone else's but if we're going to teach our kids how to achieve, I mean REALLY achieve, then living with INTEGRITY is a must.

Like many of the values we hold close to our hearts, FORGIVENESS is one of those with many avenues to explore. Today, I'm going to keep it short and sweet and focus on one area that we can all benefit from.

We've all been "wronged" in some way and have been challenged to bury the proverbial hatchet and forgive. It's not easy. But what happens if the person who did us wrong is ourselves? For many of us, our biggest critic is ourselves and that critic is tough! It's a new year and you now have the opportunity to look yourself in the mirror and say, "(insert name here), you have not been the person you've always wanted to be...and that's OK. Starting now, you're going to get back on the wagon and get the job done. The past is the past and you are better now than you were then. Now is your time!"

It's time to forgive yourself. What's done is done and we've reach that stage of redemption. Start the rockin' montage music because NOW you're going to get going and become the best version of yourself!