We're all motivated by something. It could be money, our faith, fame, recognition. It's different for each one of us but one thing that we all have in common is that if we're going to achieve genuine lasting success, that "something" has got to be big. Now I'm not talking about big in a large way but in an important way. As it's commonly to in the motivational marketplace, you have to have a big enough WHY. It's kind of funny when you begin to research something as basic as goal-setting or motivation and the same theme keeps coming up over and over. In this case, I actually do agree with the theory. If you're motivated by something (your WHY) and it's important to you, you'll stay focused and disciplined. If your why isn't important, you'll lose interest and stop working towards it. For example, if your why is something like life or death, you'll probably be inclined to push a little harder, but if it's a bit more superficial, odds are you won't follow through. If your WHY is big enough, nothing can stop you - because you simply won't quit. This is something that I honestly never had until recently. Growing up, I was always motivated by less than meaningful goals. Some I achieved, some I didn't. But none of them moved me to the point of a never-say-die attitude. I don't regret this (too much), but I do wish I felt the power of an unquenchable thirst for something (how's that for a colorful cliche'). This is one of the things that I'd like to instill in my kids - an attitude of achievement and persistence and discipline. If you want something bad enough, go after it and never rest until you've achieved it. It's worked for the greatest thinkers and leaders  and achievers throughout history and it will continue to work if you simply have a great enough why.

If you've never done this before, share your personal stories of achievement and failure with your kids. It's easy to read about famous people who overcame the odds and achieved great success. Give them some stories that are a bit closer to home. Give them a little piece of yourself. And in case you were wondering what my current "why" is, you've probably already guessed, it's my

_When you were a kid, how many times did you hear the line, "Life's not fair"? I suppose you heard it most every time you, like me, complained that things weren't fair in your opinion. I'll say it now, as a kid I didn't think things were fair all the time. Well, as a seasoned adult and parent, I am here to finally take a stand against that well-worn statement, contradict my childhood opinion and announce to the world that life, is indeed quite fair. Yes, you heard it correctly and I'm not backing down on this one. I'll even say it again (with emphasis),
Life Is Fair!

Now to pronounce something so bold, you probably want some kind of evidence, some secret proof that has been uncovered to corroborate this statement that flies in the face of everything we hold true, right? Exhibit A: You wanted something and someone else got it before you could. And let's make it even juicier. That someone didn't buy it, like you were going to, they stole it! How could that be fair? Well, what did YOU do to get it first? You could have stole it too, couldn't you? Of course you could, but you chose not to.

Let's try another. Two students decide to cheat on a test. One student never studies and cheats often. The other is a good student but had a rough time the night before caring for his sick mother instead of studying. He's not completely comfortable with cheating but needs a good grade to keep his average. Both students cheat but only one gets caught. You guessed it, the good kid gets caught and the career cheater escapes yet again. How could this be fair? Oddly enough, it really is. If you cheat, you know what the risks are, don't you?

It's not uncommon for us to compare ourselves to others - what we have, what they have; what we do, what they do. It's perfect natural...but it doesn't matter. In this game of life we all come into this world with the ability to play, that's it. We don't have the same pieces or the same amount of currency. We don't even get the assurance of a level playing field. The variables are endless...and completely fair. There is so much inequality that it's the only thing you can count on. But you're in the game and because you are, it's perfectly fair. I know at first glance that sounds like a tough pill to get your kids to swallow but once they understand that this is the way the game is played, they can forget about things being fair or not and get to playing their very best. And isn't that what they should be doing?

I hate to pull current events into this but the whole "occupy" movement is based upon an argument of things being unfair. Why? Each and everyone of the protestors has the God-given right to pack up their tents, put their drum back in the closet and go out and be as successful as they'd like to be. No one is stopping them and THAT IS FAIR!

Let's be better parents and teach our kids now, before they choose to abstain from showers for six months and parade up and down the streets whining because other people choose to dedicate their lives to making tons of money. We all have the right to CHOOSE. We also have the opportunity to look at the glass as half-full and instead of saying, "life isn't fair, get used to it", tell them, "life is perfectly fair and you have the opportunity become anything you want, make as much as you'd like and take that money to do as much good as you can. All you have to do is choose your path."

That sounds fair.

_George Michael says we gotta have it. Billy Joel is just keepin' it. And though I respect most everyone's preference of divine worship, and am rock-solid in my own personal preference as a Christian, the faith I'm referring to now focuses on the conviction that you have in the person currently wearing your underwear (and I'm assuming that's you). I'm talking about the faith that you have in yourself and the influence you have on your kids to foster the faith that they have in themselves.

It's common to think of FAITH as simply a confidence in oneself. It's much more than that. It's an unwavering conviction and the way you choose to stoke that fire within your own kids will more than likely shape the way they will feel about themselves as they grow up. But there has to be consistency. I've known parents that are very spiritual and create a solid foundation of religious faith but neglect the actual motivating spirit that's within their kids. They will grown up loving God but how will they feel about themselves?

You've heard the quote, "if you don't stand up for something you'll fall for anything"? Help them know what's worth standing up but make sure they put themselves at the top of their list. If they don't have faith in themselves, then they simply cannot have faith in anything else.

You don't need a long diatribe on this one. Be strong. Be firm and be aware of what's going inside the hearts and minds of our children. We don't get a second chance at this. When they're grown up, it'll be up to them and we all know how hard it is to change what's inside. Talk to them. Ask questions and get them thinking for themselves. Give them the gift of FAITH and conviction and love and support...even when it difficult. Believe me, I know full well how tough it can be sometimes. 

It's not just for lions anymore...and you don't get it by just asking your local wizard for it either. As one of the core values of The Values Network, COURAGE is part of the foundation of nearly everything we're about or we take on. It take courage to have integrity. It takes courage to show honor. It takes courage to be disciplined and it certainly take courage to show your faith. COURAGE is one of the easiest things to preach upon and one of the hardest values to obtain because it comes from deep within and it appears without any kind of summoning. It just appears. Having two kids in karate, my hope as a parent, is that they will find some kind of courage when it comes to physical challenges. Both of them are very active and certainly know how to take a little fall or even a good tackle. But how to pull that courage out of them goes a lot deeper than learning how to deflect a kick to the midsection. It's going to take some tapping of their inner strength.

I'm sure we've all had a situation in our younger years much like Ralphie when he confronts the town bully and beats him into submission. This courage didn't come by simply wanting it to come, it just came out at a time when he was pushed too far. This is God's little nitro boost that puts into each one of us. That kind of courage is certainly valuable, but the courage we need to tap in both ourselves and our kids is that courage of spirit when we step up and do the right thing despite the consequences. When we come face to face with the Scut Farkuses of the world and calmly do exactly what we have to do without losing our heads. By the way, here's the clip from A Christmas Story in case it's been awhile. Keep your head and do what you have to do that's the key. And our part is to prepare them for these confrontations. Whether it's someone daring them to steal or cheat on a test or make fun of a kid in the neighborhood who is a bit "odd". The COURAGE we look for in our kids starts with us.

Be there for them, tell them that they're strong, reinforce the good in them and it will come out when they challenge is in front of them. This is not just mushy parenting talk either. Show them the courage you seek in them by showing it TO THEM. Be the example and the model for them and it they'll become the model for others.

The wisdom of Master Jedi Knight Yoda is indeed vast but his greatest morsel is one of powerful brevity, "Do or do not, there is no try." This is more than just a pep talk to pull your X-Wing out of the swamp (something that happens to me all the time). This is a statement of COMMITMENT and should not be taken lightly.
"Do or do not, there is no try." Yes, it's so powerful that I'll write it twice. You see, it's really quite brilliant. Do what you set out to do and commit your mind, body and resources to achieving this goal...or don't, just decide. If success is your goal, then anything less is not acceptable. Now, please note that I didn't say you will always be successful. You might and you might not, but the important thing is that you are committed to achievement. If you succeed, fantastic, that's you wanted. If you don't succeed, fine, you just found a new way NOT to get there, also a positive. The difference is that your dedication was there and you didn't cheat yourself. TRY is a weak word and implies a weak action, "an attempt". DO is an affirmative and it commands attention. Tell yourself that you're going to DO it and your mind and body will come together to achieve this. You can feel the power by just saying it. What happens if you tell yourself you'll TRY?

Do this one small thing for me, eliminate the word TRY from your vocabulary. Just erase it. And the next time someone asks you to do something you say either "Yes, I'll do it." or " No, I won't do it." See how different it makes you feel. Heck, just thinking about it gets me excited.

Like many of the values we hold close to our hearts, FORGIVENESS is one of those with many avenues to explore. Today, I'm going to keep it short and sweet and focus on one area that we can all benefit from.

We've all been "wronged" in some way and have been challenged to bury the proverbial hatchet and forgive. It's not easy. But what happens if the person who did us wrong is ourselves? For many of us, our biggest critic is ourselves and that critic is tough! It's a new year and you now have the opportunity to look yourself in the mirror and say, "(insert name here), you have not been the person you've always wanted to be...and that's OK. Starting now, you're going to get back on the wagon and get the job done. The past is the past and you are better now than you were then. Now is your time!"

It's time to forgive yourself. What's done is done and we've reach that stage of redemption. Start the rockin' montage music because NOW you're going to get going and become the best version of yourself!

Times change. People change. Technology changes...and then changes again...and again. But despite the enormous amount of change we've all experienced over the last 20 years (and forever for that matter), one thing that will always stay the same is the truth. No matter what it is, the truth will always be our constant.

Yes, yes, I know that sounds so new age and fluffy, but my kids are no dummies (I married very well). They ask questions and pose arguments that now require solid responses and genuine answers. It was so easy when I could talk in a circle or confuse the issue with a cookie bribe. I can't skirt my duties as a responsible, information-passing father any longer. My kids want the truth. I suppose we do have it a bit easier than most parents since we homeschool. We don't have to fight the rumor mill or the schoolyard gossip factory, but delivery the unvarnished truth isn't always easy. Then the other side of brain kicks in reminds me that anything worthwhile is never easy. My brain is correct. The truth is difficult at times. Sometimes it does hurt too. But since we're living in a time where "virtual" is actually considered a reality, we must always keep the truth close and reinforce it often. Remind our kids that right and wrong don't come with qualifiers. That we embrace the words and actions of good and honorable people and turn away from those that disguise bad behavior with humor or emotion. Truth is what is true, not what you can rationalize at the moment.

Step up moms and dads and take a good hard look at what you're feeding your children. Are they getting the genuine article or a cheap knock-off? Are they witness to their parents living life vicariously through reality television or are they living a rewarding life with a mom and dad whose reality is so compelling that they tell their friends about it? Our society is not helping. Between the trash news and trash programming, there is very little to offer our children. It's time to seek out something better. Take the challenge and be an example of truth in your home and spread it to your neighborhood and community. Show your kids what courage and citizenship used to look like and what our grandparents used to cherish. The truth is not always easy, but the truth is, our kids deserve better.

Now we’re all parents here, right? OK, so let’s start with an easy exercise. All together, let’s say it together, I am a great parent! One more time, I am a great parent! Now, you don’t have to raise your hand, but how many of you felt weird saying that? Did anyone feel like they might be lying to themselves? That is perfectly normal and I can easily relate. You see, this statement is simply an affirmation, a declaration that something is true. They're used to solidify a mindset. How many are familiar with the book, The Secret? I’ll boil this book down into six simple words. You become what you think about. This philosophy is not new but it is very, very effective. You become what you think about. It’s so simple yet so powerful. But why is it important? Because in order for you to achieve a goal you have to believe that goal is attainable, and that’s where this simple affirmation comes in. I am a great parent. Customize it, make it yours, but use the power you have to become the parent you want to be - then make it happen. Envision in you mind that you are already there. What does it feel like? What does the world look through the eyes of great parent? You are already there. By the mere fact that you’re reading this now, you have proven you want to grow and learn...or you’re being coerced and you can’t talk your way out of situations. But you are here now and for that you need to give yourself credit. I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for the things we achieve. Being a parent is not easy and unfortunately there no medals for being a great parent...except when we look at our kids.

I caught a portion of a debate on cable news channel about the new healthcare system and what we can expect from it. Aside from my personal feelings on this debate, one thing did catch my attention. One of the debaters commented that because the new law covers children up to age thirty (or something like that), we can expect a whole generation of kids to stay home with their parents rather than joining society and making a living on their own. Really? Kids living with their parents because of free doctor's visits? I may be naive about a lot of things but I always thought kids couldn't wait to get out of the house, get a job and live on their own. I know that was the way it was for me and most everyone I knew.

I know things are economically challenging for everyone right now, but let's take a stand, parents. If we really love our children, then we must teach them how to hunt and gather on their own. "Yup, pack your things and go prosper." I know that coddling and providing feels like the right things to do, but despite how old we see our children in our eyes, society sees them differently. They expect performance and they expect responsibility and they expect most everyone out of high school to behave like they the person that truly are: A legal adult who can join the military and fight for our country's safety, someone who can buy and operate a vehicle, someone who can buy and consume adult beverages, someone who can hold a job and someone who can vote for any elected official both locally and nationally. Those are some pretty big responsibilities. Are your kids ready for them?

I know it's Friday and I don't want to lay anything really heavy on you as you prepare the hammock and lemonade but just keep in mind the sage words of former diva Whitney Houston, "I believe the children our the future, teach the well and let them lead the way." Now while I personally prefer the version from Sexual Chocolate led by Eddie Murphy, reflect on these words, "teach them well and let them lead the way". It's time to get back to mentality of teaching to lead. We need leaders and we certainly need stronger leaders. We do not need any more people who think it's OK to live at home until things get easier. Because as we ALL know, it never get easier (at least not until the kids move out). Now go rent Coming To America.